Monscooch has moved

Go here: for the new site.

Monday, 31 December 2007

Monscooch will return. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but some day. So, for now:

Thursday, 20 December 2007

Liverpool Watch: Chelsea

So that's three major losses in a row now. Hopefully, with Portsmouth coming up, we can make it four! Come on the pool! Wait, that's not right.

Sunday, 16 December 2007

Song Of The Week: Later With Beirut Edition

Beirut on Later With Jools Holland- 'A Sunday Smile' (Download):

Here's M.I.A. with Paper Planes:

A Christmas Bonus: The Straight No Chaser a cappella group and The Twelve Days Of Christmas medley:

Tom Waits For Xmas Number One is a fantastic idea by Adam Maguire and I will support this idea over the X-Factor winner any day.

Here are the options to buy Tom Wait's 'Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis' to register for the Christmas charts this Thursday:

Apple iTunes* - 99c, works on any iPod or iPhone (please note the link will launch iTunes)
Eircom Music Club - €1.20, works on any 'Plays for Sure' device / €1.40, works on mobile phone
Sony Connect* - €1.29, works on any Sony device (please note the link only works in Internet Explorer and you will need the SonicStage application to download song)
EasyMusic - €1.35, works on any 'Plays for Sure' device (please note you may have to change your location to Ireland before purchasing as the site's default is for the UK)
Wippit - €1.39, works on any 'Plays for Sure' device (please note you may have to change your location to Ireland before purchasing as the site's default is for the UK)

I've already got the song twice in my music library but buying it again is worth it. Here it is being performed live:

Saturday, 15 December 2007

Nana Nana Nana Nana Batman!

Here are some brand new posters released just before the proper trailer is released:
Go here for a proper trailer to be released in high definition sometime soon... UPDATE: It's live, yo. And man, does it kick ass. Best two minutes I've ever seen of anything, ever.

Amy Winehouse: 1983-20XX

Here's proof that there's too many mutha uckers in the world finding their way onto our peaceful internet with the arrival of Sick punters sign a pre-condolence form and predict when Amy will go the way of Janis Joplin in order to win an iPod Touch. So far there are already 2400+ entries including these tasteless nuggets:
-im am really sorry if i predicted your death
-Thanks for the iPod!
-you get what you deserve
-Merry Christmas World!
-She's got a little life left in her. I mean, she's got to suffer as much as she has made us suffer. Plus, isn't it the good who die young? Country music told me so, and country music is missing some teeth, too.
Here's her breakthrough single 'Rehab' featuring Hova himself, Jay-Z:

Coming Soon: Best Movie To Ever Feature A Drill Bra

Here's the trailer for Kataude mashin gâru (soon to be known as The Machine Girl to us western folk):

That's crazy ass shit there, son. It kinda reminds me of the time my left hand became dismembered in a ham and cheese sandwich related accident and I attached a portable vacuum to my elbow. It seemed like a good idea at the time but it's starting to get a bit annoying now. I do however get a lot of attention from the ladies- boo yeah.
Internation poster:

It looks an awful lot like this:

Which was copied for this:

And also this:

They look nothing like this following image but I'll allow it only for the sake of posting pictures of Natalie Portman:

T-Pain is a great big phoney

I've never been a fan of T-Pain. Most of his songs are weak, he talks like a fool and has no writing ability. Here he is performing without his digital voice, for once:

Here's proof that anyone can sing using T-Pain's digital aid:

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Liverpool Watch: Marseille

Beware of four-legged Stevie Gerrard

It's hard to put into words how lucky the Kop are to qualify at the last minute but as five time Formula 1 World Champion Juan Manuel Fangio would say "Hello. I'm Juan Manuel Fangio".

(If the video below doesn't work, go here. If football isn't your thing, go here)

A lesson in Liverpudlian accents

Here's a clip from Walk Hard- the upcoming movie "from the guys who brought you Superbad and Knocked Up" (expect to see that on every comedy from here to Christmas 2009). It features Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Justin Long and Jason Shwartzman as Paul McCartney, John Lennon, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, respectively.

Watch the first 10 minutes here and in case you don't have a ZIP code try this: George Bush, 7-6-46, 20500.

I'm still undecided about spending nine precious Euro coins on this one film. The trailer looked alright, I suppose. The first 10 minutes of every comedy starts with the basic story prologue, making way for the jokes that come in a few minutes later, right? It was the same case with Titanic. 150 minutes of prologue and then all the sinking ship hilarity ensued.

Sunday, 9 December 2007

Song Of The Week: The Amy Edition

I'm going to steal a comment made on the (lazy) YouTube video because I can:

"Gorgeous song. Probably the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Video is kind of creepy though. It's like a tribute to a dead person. This woman is so incredibly talented, it's heartbreaking to see her in the state she's in. I hope this song is a huge hit, it deserves to be!".

Those would probably be my sentiments as well. I'd prefer to hear this repeatedly over the Christmas period instead of The Pogues or whoever wins X Factor in the coming weeks.

I'd actually like to see this get to number 1. It would be a huge morale boost to Amy (since her mum can't get through to her). Even though the accolades she keeps on getting, don't mean crap to her, maybe if she tops the Christmas charts, that might stop her going the same direction as Kurt Cobain and other troubled singers .

It wouldn't be the first time a depressing song topped the UK Christmas charts:

1986: Jackie Wilson - "Reet Petite"
1987: Pet Shop Boys - "Always on My Mind"
1988: Cliff Richard - "Mistletoe & Wine"
1989: Band Aid II -" Do They Know It's Christmas?"
1990: Cliff Richard - "Saviour's Day"
1991: Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" / "These Are the Days of Our Lives"
1992: Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
1993: Mr Blobby - "Mr Blobby"
1994: East 17 - "Stay Another Day"
1995: Michael Jackson - "Earth Song"
1996: Spice Girls - "2 Become 1"
1997: Spice Girls - "Too Much"
1998: Spice Girls - "Goodbye"
1999: Westlife - "I Have A Dream" / "Seasons In The Sun"
2000: Bob The Builder - "Can We Fix It?"
2001: Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman - "Somethin' Stupid"
2002: Girls Aloud - "Sound Of The Underground"
2003: Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules - "Mad World"
2004: Band Aid 20 - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
2005: Shayne Ward - "That's My Goal"
2006: Leona Lewis - "A Moment Like This"

See? How many of those songs aren't depressing? A more complete list can be found here on Stereogum.

Saturday, 8 December 2007

The 8th Of December

... is special to me for a few reasons. To start, it's the anniversary of John Lennon's death so I go about listening to as much Lennon music as I can in one day. Today is also the official start of Christmas (the previous five plus weeks of festive decorations don't count) and is also considered one of the biggest shopping days before the mad Christmas Eve rush. To combine those two celebratory reasons of mine, here's John Lennon with "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)":

Celebrating their birthdays today are two greats; Sammy Davis Jr. with one of my all time favourite songs- "Mr Bojangles":

Sinead O'Conner was born today too. This song, written by everybody's favourite eccentric artist formerly known as a symbol, Prince, is the beautiful Nothing Compares 2 U:

Some say it's one of the best music videos ever made. I think it's quite boring. It could've used a car chase or some explosions at least.

Liverpool Watch: Reading

Liverpool lost to Reading. Arsenal lost to Middlesborough. Shit happens.

Friday, 7 December 2007

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Song Of The Week: D,O, double G, and the Stripes edition

Snoop Dogg- Sensual Seduction:

The White Stripes- Conquest:

Worst song of the week: Tay "I assure you, my voice is real; My momma cross-bred with some frogs" Zonday with 'Cherry Chocolate Rain':

Previous SOTW posts are here.

Saturday, 1 December 2007

Viral Videos of the Week

"I thought Europe was a country?". In her defence, she (Kellie Pickler) is very cute. Until she starts talking that is. Then it's just a case of wanting to take a hammer to the head.

Two Cats Talking:

Two Cats Talking (and what they're really saying):

What Would Jesus Buy? Relevant, especially in this time of "good will" (i.e. crazed shopping). Here's the synopsis: Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping Gospel Choir are on a cross-country mission to save Christmas from the Shopocalypse (the end of humankind from consumerism, over-consumption and the fires of eternal debt). It comes from Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame. His new project sounds interesting too. Here's the WWJB trailer:

A classy marraige proposal via the cast of Scrubs:

This clip could easily be a deleted scene from Hostel- Part II (If you were insane, that is):

It's called Chocolade Haas. Some of the comments on the video include:

-stomachable video!
dear rabbit we'll always love you.
rest in peace!

-you a fuckn idiot!
what the hell you need to post this shitting video?
i'v been hungry just a second ago.. now i'm depressed and a big angry.
i'm stomachached, i need to vomit and cry.

-If it was a block of chocolate you wouldnt feel like that. I love how the pieces in the background are all the same colour and texture .

-I think the most interesting study is not the video, but rather, the wide range of feelings and emotions it caused in each of us...

Who's going to watch Watchmen?

I sure as flip will. Zach Snyder (director of 300) has just uploaded the following photos up to the Watchmen site to reassure fans of the graphic novel that he is not going to mess it up. These photos could not be more perfect: have visual comparisons to the comic book here. Some stats about the film production so far:
  • • 5,800 feet of neon requiring 24,000 watts of power
  • • 100 unique and custom-designed graphics created for the various storefronts
  • • 5,000 square feet of custom posters
  • • Street had to work for 1938, 1945, 1953, 1957, 1964, 1974, 1975, 1977, and 1985
  • • 1,040 feet of 1:1 scale New York streets
  • • 98,400 square feet of exterior scenery
  • • 12,500 square feet of interior scenery
  • • Building heights range from 23′9″ to 42′6″
  • • 10,325 16-foot 2×4s
  • • 3,600 sheets of OSB (plywood-like construction material)
  • • 384,000 square feet of foam brick
  • • 200,000 nails
  • • 3,500 tubes of construction adhesive
  • • 160,000 lbs. of steel I-beams support the facades
  • • 300 cubic meters of concrete
  • • 6,000 square feet of glass
  • • 4,800 square feet of plexiglass
  • • 20,000 donuts were consumed by the construction crew
  • • 20,000 gallons of water and 3,000 gallons of Gatorade was drunk by the crew
The film opens on the 6th of March 2009.

Hey, remember when Transformers sucked?

Here's Shia LaBeouf trying his best not to let the film suck but it never seems to go his way...

Friday, 30 November 2007

The Key To Reserva

"But it has to look, it has to be the way he would made the picture then, only making it now, but the way he would make it then. If he was alive now making this now, he would make it now as if he made it back then."
-Martin Scorsese on preserving Hitchcock's 'The Key to Reserva'.

I can't embed the video (yet) but if you enjoy the art of film, you should check out Martin Scorsese's adaptating a Hitchcock script that was never filmed. It may be viral advertising but it's viral advertising at it's best.

Watch it here.

Evel Knievel dies at the age of 69

According to the ever-reliable Wikipedia entry on Evel, "he was assassinated by ninjas under the command of hip-hop musician Kanye West. Rest in peace". For some reason, after some crafty edited, the story now reads that "he had been ill for years, suffering from hepatitis C, as well as diabetes and idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition that scarred his lungs". The full story is here on

Here's Evel Knievel doing what he did best at Caesar's Palace:

And here he is jumping Snake River Canyon:

Liverpool Watch: Porto

Saturday, 24 November 2007

Freddie Mercury: Best Of

It's the 16th anniversary of Freddie Mercury's death and what better way to celebrate his life than give you a huge list made by somebody called Oberon1966. He went ahead and uploaded many Queen concerts and documentaries on Freddie Mercury and Queen (15, actually) onto the Youtube. You can find them here.

To get you started, here's their Live Aid 1986 performance:

Liverpool Watch: Newcastle

This sort of play should be the norm. Click here for previous LW posts.

Playlists: Episode One

I've just thought of a brilliant feature that doesn't give me a whole lot to do but is still very entertaining to you, the reader. After my earlier Freddie Mercury post where someone uploaded an entire concert and collected them together in seamlessly in playlist form, I remembered I found some other similiar ones on my interweb adventures.

This week, I'll start off with a few great shows from comedians in their prime providing hours of entertainment via JimmyTheHand86:

Chris Rock- Never Scared:

Dave Chappelle- Killing Them Softly in Washington D.C:

Eddie Murphy- The combined Delirious and RAW shows:

Eddie Izzard- Dressed To Kill in San Francisco, 1999:

Thursday, 22 November 2007

The Story of Thanksgiving

For some reason, I've received thousands of hits on this blog from the United States in the last two or three months. I thought I might as well post about their national holiday which they are celebrating today by committing a massive genocide of Turkeys all over America. If there are any Turkeys in the States reading this right now, I give you this message: Run, you feathered bastards, run!

Anyways, here's "Celebrity Bric-A-Brac Theatre's Story of Thanksgiving", created by these guys who were behind the whole Chad Vader phenomenon:

Whenever I see or hear Thanksgiving being mentioned anytime during the year, I always think of this classic scene from The West Wing for some odd reason- President Bartlett rings the Butterball Hotline as edited by a blind and deaf man:

Tuesday, 20 November 2007

Make love to Mother Earth... (plus some site news)

Here's the new one from the golden three comedy God's outide of Judd Apatow. Will Ferrell, Adam McKay and John C O'Reilly create another short comedic sketch for, focusing on enviromentalists who take it a bit too far:


Being Christmas for a few weeks now, my everyday work outside of this blog will become intense. I'll have to reduce my work load by posting only once a day until the Christmas rush is over because I wouldn't want something like this to happen again.

That's unless something drastic happens- The powers above might realise I'm getting double time pay for 15 hours of overtime a week and decide to limit my hours which will give me much more free time and energy for this blog. That, or my work place suddenly implodes because of a spatial anomaly, which is a very broad term for any sort of extraordinary disruption in the space-time continuum.

Monday, 19 November 2007

Science Week: The blogging winners

The winners of the Science Week Ireland blogging competition have been announced:

-What was your favourite invention from your childhood? - Kevin Breathnach

-What invention would you most like to see in the future - Brian

-What is the next gadget you plan to buy? - Monscooch

-What was the best invention of 2007? - Poetbloggs

-What invention helps you most with your working life - Johnny Keyes

Congratulations to all the winners and many thanks to Science Week Ireland and Damien Mulley for the organisation. Sinead has the great idea to continue on with this idea of one question a day for inspiration and I hope to take part in future. She isn't giving away a Wii, isn't she? ;)

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Song Of The Week: Baxter's Better And The Expert Edition

Tom Baxter with his new single 'Better' from the album Skybound:

Messiah J And The Expert and their Superfamous Supertune:

Other songs that I've had stuck in my head:

Babyshambles: You Talk
Talib Kweli: Everything Man
The Shins: Sleeping Lessons
Paul McCartney: Ever Present Past (Justin Timberlake could learn a few moves from this man)

Click here for previous songs of the week.

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Science Week: The best invention of 2007

As far as I can see, the best invention of 2007 going by the definition of the word (an innovation that is both novel and non-obvious) would be the Microsoft Surface (as seen demonstrated here by a Mr. Bill Gates).

It's the next step in iPhone style technology. I love the interactivity with the touch screen and the way it reacts to other devices. It's the final piece of home technology equipment I'd like until the flying car arrives.

Here's a five minute promotional video which gives a more in-depth view at Surface's features:

Not everyone is impressed by it, however. Here's Sarcastic Gamer doing what he does best (original version is here):

No matter your opinion of Microsoft, they are clearly technological pioneers. They might be a bit too ambitious and fail in some critical areas (i.e. the original Xbox lacking in comparison to the much older Playstation 2, the Xbox 360 having a 30% failure rate and Vista turning consumers back to XP) but they do push the competition. The Zune is currently giving the classic iPod a run for it's money in America and the Xbox 360 is currently leading the race in the Console wars due to it's huge online base and a surplus of excellent games.

This, in my pseudo-professional, is the future. It might be a bit pricey (it's somewhere in the area of $10,000 which is slightly more than your average table). It's not something I'd like to use as a foot rest, although you never know, maybe some funky rings will shine out from the heels of your shoes or something.

This is day five in the Science Week Ireland blogging competition as hosted on

Best Book Designs Of 2007

Via Boing Boing comes this brilliant collection of fancy book covers which are all uniquely brilliant. As a former graphic design student, I find them all very inspiring. They're all much better than the simple gallery of faces currently filling the charts right now.

Here's the link.

Whose line is it anyway (again)

Some mad man has gone through the trouble of uploading all the early seasons of Whose Line Is It Anyways? and is still uploading away. If you have a few hours/ days to spare have a look at the YouTube playlists here. It includes the complete season one, two, three and he's just started uploading season four and his personal favourite moments.

Friday, 16 November 2007

Actione! Velocita! Terrore! Suspenso! Romanza! Goblin! Spiderman! Spiderman! Spiderman!

Here's the video description as found on Youtube:
lrugo Entertainment, producers of A-grade, B-grade content bring you:

Unearthed for the first time in 43 years and lovingly restored at Maxischermo Studios Milan, this rare theatrical trailer for the 1964 Italian classic 'Italian Spiderman' is a real treat. Featuring Franco Franchetti of 'Mondo Sexo' fame in his last ever role before being killed in a spear fishing accident in 1965. Director, Gianfranco Gatti, reminisces on 'Italian Spiderman'; "I have made some mistakes in my life...bad, bad mistakes".
You know it's big when it's in the news. Bonus- Japanese Spiderman:



Science Week Ireland: Which invention has helped you most with your working life?

If it wasn't for my alarm clock, I would be unemployed right now. Most scientists and politicians argue that this is rarely a good thing. The amount of times that annoying ticking device has saved me from sleeping through the morning is a Godsend.

I had to get rid of it though, because the ticking noise drove me insane after a few weeks. All of my dreams revolved around that damn ticking. Sometimes it works out well and I've dreamt that I'm Jack Bauer in 24 or that Johnny Depp fellow in Nick Of Time (except much more handsome). In other dreams I just stare at a large annoying clock and that's... not quite as fun.

I'm actually thinking about buying myself one of these fancy hanging alarm clocks. The idea is that every time you want to have a few more minutes of dreamy sleepy nighty snoozy snooze, you have to touch the ever-raising orb, making you stretch more every time you do. It also plays soothing music apparently. As you might notice on the picture to the side, the man seems awfully happy with his magical floaty orb. That will be me someday (except much more handsome).

Now that I'm currently without a proper alarm clock, I have to make do with my phone. It's a nice bonus that I can wake up to the tune of Bill Withers because that's how we gangstas do. My phone isn't exactly suspended from the ceiling, so as motivation to wake up, I flake my phone across the room to force myself up.

This is all based on the fact that I'm a hard person to wake up. After a week in Spain with a large group school friends, we were held up by a cancelled in England and we were forced to stay in a five star hotel for free. I was knackered after a long week without sleep and chose to go to bed rather than make use of the all night restaurant and free phone calls. I woke up to find my hair covered in shaving cream and a nice fluffy beard to go with it, under another mattress and surrounded by the entire group playing poker using me as the table. I've a history of sleeping sitting down, sideways, while watching movies, and once I slept under a couch. I was drunk at the time, so that's alright.

What this all has to do with Science Week Ireland, I don't know. Props to Damien though for his hand in organising a brilliant competition for Irish bloggers to show off.

It's a good time to be a gamer

I can't remember when there's been this amount of Triple-A games coming out on a weekly basis. It's hard to think of what's left for next year. Other than Metal Gear Solid 4, there are no other games that I know of worth getting excited about.

In the past two months alone, I've bought:

Xbox 360: Bioshock, The Darkness, Blue Dragon, Halo 3, Tomb Raider Anniversary, Half Life 2: The Orange Box, The Simpsons Game, Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and Scene It: Lights, Camera, Action.

Playstation 3: Heavenly Sword, Fifa 08, Resistance: Fall Of Man, Warhawk, Skate, The Eye Of Judgement, Ratchet & Clank: Tools Of Destruction and Assassin's Creed.

Games due in the next month:

Xbox 360: Guitar Hero III, Mass Effect and Kane & Lynch: Dead Men.

Playstation 3: Stranglehold, Haze, Singstar and Unchartered: Drake's Fortune.

I may not be blogging by Christmas due to my being homeless after buying all these games.

Exclusive: Cloverfield's monster is finally revealed

From recently released production stills from the actual movie, it turns out that the evil creature in Cloverfield is a big blue plastic bag with arms. Here it is in action:

Just by touching that woman, her nose, lips and eyes start bleeding. She also gets a sharp pain in her back. It's definitely a different monster than what was expected. The look of it reminds me of this story in the States.

It's obligatory train station chase that most action movies have, with the main characters' backs starting to cramp up.

Here they are, barely able to walk because the back pain is so intense.

I'll post up the proper trailer when it's released online in QuickTime. With all these crappy camera in a cinema clips and the like.

Thursday, 15 November 2007

Science Week Ireland: The next gadget that I want to buy

Damien Mulley has been organising an awesome competition to promote Science Week Ireland. If you haven't noticed, I'm rather fond of Lego. Even though I'm a grown man (with deep voice, moustache and everything), I still love creating characters, cities, and mostly short movie recreations with these little connecting pieces of plastic.

My latest obsession in Lego is having motorised mechanisms that can make a truck drive in a straight line or maybe if I'm extra creative, create a building with real working sliding doors at the push of a button. I've decided I want to save up one for one hell of a gadget: Lego Mindstorms.
At €240, it doesn't come cheap. Even with Christmas on the way, I doubt Santa would get me this toy. I'm saving up all the money I can, despite the fact that there's a plethora of games and DVDs on my shopping list right now which I'll never have the time to come around to anyways.

Here are some highly recommended examples of what can be achieved with this nifty bit of kit as found on Youtube:

-The automatic toilet paper dispenser. At the push of a button you'll save yourself straining your wrist when ripping off the 23 squares of apparently needed toilet paper

-The SPC. The self parking car using motion sensors. Amazing.

-The rubik cube solver. Amazing-er?

-This mind-boggling machine can produce cars. I am not making this up.

-The bubble gum sorter. A giant monstrosity of a machine that is large and practical.

-This contraption called the Wiigobot can win a perfect game of Wii Bowling. How fitting...

Just watching those clips really sends my mind into creative overdrive of sorts. According to it's wikipedia page, it's got 30 different programming languages. This is the future of teaching mechanical engineering to children and is something that will keep me busy once I save enough money to buy it.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

David Gray: Greatest Hits

It's David Gray's turn now to do a best of compilation. White Ladder may have more copies sold in Ireland than there are actual people but I'm guessing he had other songs than weren't on that album. Here are as much proper music videos I could find with the rest in live performance form:

1. You're The World To Me
2. Babylon
3. The One I Love
4. Please Forgive Me
5. Be Mine
6. Hospital Food
7. This Year's Love
8. Alibi
9. Sail Away
10. Shine
11. Caroline
12. The Other Side
13. Flame Turns Blue

Groove Armada: Greatest Hits

Apparently, it's Christmas now and that means it's time for bands to release a greatest hits compilation. Even though it's only been 3 years since their last compilation, Groove Armada have brought a new one.

Here's the promo:

01. Song 4 Mutya (3:39)
02. Get Down (3:24)
03. I See You Baby (Fatboy Slim Radio Edit) (4:04)
04. Superstylin (6:32)
05. Purple Haze (4:05)
06. My Friend (5:00)
07. The Girls Say (4:03)
08. Chicago (7:22)
09. Love Sweet Sound (4:37)
10. Easy (5:53)
11. Lightsonic (6:55)
12. If Everybody Looked The Same (3:39)
13. Little By Little (5:30)
14. At The River (6:33)

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

They iScrewed me again- Viral Videos

SNL's dumb cousin Mad TV makes a funny! They take on the ever-evolving iPod design Feist-style:

Here's Bearforce1 with an early Christmas song called 'Christmas Is Here' and it's fabulous:

The song that the Futurama musical director Christopher Ting based the theme tune on is uncovered and on YouTube:

Half Life 2 is summarised in a nifty South Park style animation all in the space of 60 seconds (summarising popular movies and games is all the rage these days):

Bob Ross paints Star Wars (An awesome tribute):

Monday, 12 November 2007

Rap... in math form?

Via Fimoculous, is this great site which takes rap lyrics and turns them into graphical charts. Click each one of the charts to watch the actual song video. I've just spent the last half hour there and am now going through to my old rap album collection. I've just remembered that Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with and it's always good to know that in case you need it in the real world.

Paris doesn't understand lipstick

I'm a man and even I know that lipstick goes on your lips and not on your teeth. I also know that when choosing the right foam while arranging flowers that generally, green water-retaining foam is for fresh flowers and foliage, whilst the brown stiffer foam is for dried or artificial flowers. I mean, AAARGH, football, beer, Lindsay Lohan and all that.

Bonus example of stupidity (in high-res):

Sunday, 11 November 2007

Songs Of The Week: Queens Of The Future Edition

The Futureheads- Broke Up The Time:

If you don't like the video, you're not the only one- I'm sure it's just a temporary one. If you do like the song, you can download the song from their website or stream the song from their MySpace page.

Queens Of The Stone Age with their new single "Make It Wit Chu" and a similarly crappy video:

Kanye West's mother and manager Donda tragically died this morning. Here's 'Ye performing Hey Mama with his mama, of all people:

Saturday, 10 November 2007

Why there's no more American TV for us to download

The Writers Guild Of America strike is still growing with no end in site. Here's a video to show why it's not going to stop until an agreement is made, whenever that may be:

You can follow updates and the progress of the stikes and stories from the ever growing picket lines (as seen in the picture below with a mass crowd of 4000 people) here on UnitedHollywood. Executive producer of Lost, Damon Lindelof wrote up a good summary of the strike which you can read here.

Look at all the people hoping to get 4 cents:

Bush loves a good photo op

President George Bush visited injured vets at the Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas. Reuters have a picture slideshow which is very hard to watch but really shows how insincere he is about his troops.

I've also read today on Joystiq that he played some video games with some of the former soldiers in a war game simulating tactical action in Baghdad. That must have been a connecting experience for the much loved president to his troops having experienced the horrors of combat first-hand... Oh, wait.

Pfff... I have better taste in women than Rihanna

It looks like that "chick" from The Crying Game.

Liverpool Watch: Fulham

Meet the modern day Ninja

I read about this a few days ago but I never knew what it would look like in motion. Now, I know. Further proof that the Japanese are crazy:

Imagine the embarrassment for everyone involved if someone thought that this disguise was so convincing that they wanted to but a real bottle of soda:

"Wait, why won't this machine take my money? Why aren't the buttons doing anything? Is it even plugged in? Do soda machines usually have feet?"

"My apologies, sir. I was merely hiding from a potential rapist, thief or murderer. This disguise is just a folded skirt."

"You know, I thought it felt like a skirt! Good luck with on your hiding adventures. One question- what are you doing in a forrest?"

Waterboarding isn't as fun as it sounds

Here's Keith Olbermann presenting a special report on the latest hot topic in American politics, waterboarding and showing off his very, very, very, very... big vocalbulary:

Here's everything but a good answer- Mike Mukasey at a Confirmation Hearing:

Here's Harry Shearer showing us the most positive side of waterboarding in the style of a Beach Boys tune. It's up for an award too:

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Overkill: Prince style

Prince has continued to piss everyone off after trying to "reclaim the internet" from YouTube, eBay and the Pirate Bay and threatened legal action to prevent them further encouraging copyright violations. Now, he's taking legal action against sites (including many of his own fan sites) for hosting photos of him, album covers, even lyrics. Madness.

These tales of a Prince gone mad reminded me of the Dave Chappelle skit featuring Eddie's brother Charlie recounting his basketball game against Prince:

Overkill: 40 minutes of Family Guy style

Press release: "Fox Home Entertainment has announced Family Guy Presents: "Blue Harvest" which parodies the movie that started it all – Episode IV A New Hope. The season six premiere will be available to own in either a standard ($22.98) or a special edition ($34.99). The standard edition will include more than four minutes of exclusive DVD material, animatics/commentaries, interviews with Seth MacFarlane and George Lucas, an Uncensored Track, and a teaser of the next Star Wars spoof, "Something, Something, Something Dark Side". The special edition will include a 3-D fight scene (with glasses!), a t-shirt, trading cards, an exclusive brochure, and collectible packaging."

Wow. It even includes the actual DVD there somewhere. That's 40 minutes worth of Family Guy in all it's filler-joke glory. It also comes with four whole minutes of extra scenes.

One of my favourite TV shows, Robot Chicken, had a much better Star Wars special than Family Guy. Watch a clip here:

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Everything You Wanted To Know About The Vajingo * But Were Afraid To Ask...

With the help of a cuddly toy, Tyra Banks are her friends show us... interesting stuff. She's speaking to women as if they don't even know it's there, which scares me.

The educational prop reminded me of a cool toy service Rick found. Every kid will want one come Christmas time (which is now, for some wicked reason). Here's a promo picture for Giant Microbes:

You can buy a cuddly toy version of: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, Stomach Ache, Cough, Ear Ache, Bad Breath, Kissing Disease, Athlete’s Foot, Ulcer, Martian Life, Beer & Bread, Black Death, Ebola, Flesh Eating, Sleeping Sickness, Dust Mite, Bed Bug, and Bookworm (and in our Professional line: H.I.V. and Hepatitis). Who wouldn't want the whole darn collection.

People might actually think you are sick in the head, though.

Liverpool Watch: 8-0

Now that's a pretty scoreboard. A record score in a European competition (take that Arsenal) plus Liverpool's 500th goal in Europe. Here are the ITV highlights:

Monday, 5 November 2007

Remember, remember the 5th of November...

...The gun powder treason and plot,
I know of no reason the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
To blow up the king and parliment
Three scores barrels were laid below
To prove old england's overthrow
By God's mercy he was catched
By a dimmed lantern and a burning match
Holler boys, holler boys, let the bells ring
Holler boys, holler boys, God save the king

It wasn't the best movie in the world (The Pink Panther was more popular at the time) but I watched V For Vendetta on DVD for the first time since it came out in the cinema a year and a half ago because it's, you know, that day.

I know that Alan Moore doesn't approve of it but I thought it was okay... ish? The comic wasn't that much more impressive to me either, despite being an Alan Moore fan. Find out for yourself here. Here are some scenes from the Watchowski Brothers(?) -produced movie:

V takes over a news station:

V makes himself known to Natalie Portman:

That is by far the most annoying speech of any kind, made anywhere, ever. Here it is in all it's vile (oh-ho!) intirity:

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished."

It's at this point Natalie Portman's character looks at him like "Shut the fuck up already and shave my head, will you."

Yet he continues "However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified..."and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

I don't really understand much of that speech, but I do know this: Natalie Portman is hawt.