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Saturday, 14 July 2007

A picture of me in Simpsons form

I've always failed miserably at drawing myself in the Simpson style. Now I don't have to bother with the new Simpsons character creator. To celebrate the worldwide premier next week of The Simpsons Movie in Springfield Vermont, I've compiled some of my favourite Simpsons moments that spring to mind.

Here's a small selection of the classic moments from it's 400+ episodes:

-Moe's Self Defense Class
-Mr Burns' Sitcom
-Stupidest Name I've Ever Heard
-Crazy Cat Lady
-Homer The Daredevil
-Cyprus Hill
-Homer Thompson
-Homer Crashes Moe's Car
-Talking Softball
-Stan Lee

You may notice that most if not all of those clips come from the first nine seasons of The Simpsons. I think it peaked at around season 6, 7 and 8 for me. The "Who Shot Mr Burns?" era as I like to think of think. It gradually became weaker, boring and worse from there and I haven't really watched much of the 14th to 17th season because of it. The rare ones I did see managed to get very few laughs but the latest episodes from season 18 have improved a small bit.

Here's the new movie trailer. If it doesn't restore my faith in the new Simpsons, then I'll have to resort to reliving the golden age through the magic of DVD's over and over again.

Friday, 13 July 2007

"Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true"...

It started off as a mysterious handheld camera trailer for a giant monster movie before a film called Transformers. Now it's become a full-on viral phenomenon, complete with frame-by-frame break down of the trailer, digital engineering deconstructions of the creature's roar and hints to be found in the three grainy photos on the official homepage. One thing I've personally noticed is if you look in the hair between the two women in the photo above, you can clearly see the Devil. Maybe it's just me. I see the Devil everywhere.

As with any Web phenomenon, scandals have already started to break. Two sites rumored to be clues were called out as fakes by Abrams himself. "For what it's worth, the only site of ours that people have even FOUND is the site," he told Aint It Cool News. Abrams adds, "But, obviously, if the movie doesn't kick some massive ASS, who gives a rat's about what's online?". I do, you insensitive bastard. I hate you!

Ethan Haas related sites were found to be set up only to sell some ugly T-shirts by some very quick ass-merchants. Crazy coincidence of the day (or is it?): "Ethan Haas" was a character on CBS's "The Class", which also starred Lizzy Caplan, one of the stars of what iMdb has lovingly dubbed "Untitled JJ Abrams Project."

Seeing as Sony own the licence to Godzilla until 2012, that pretty much rules the big lizard out. The main theory on... the grapevine... is that the main monster is this handsome devil called Cthulu. It's a cool idea but I don't know how it would work with a $30m budget. Unless they resort to my idea of seeing only what the party crowd sees and what kind of hilarious shenanigans they get up to (as I described in the last post). Someone wierdo called Gerald Webber posted on iMdb and with his own story (not theory) that everything has already happened and this footage was later found and released as a documentary much like the Blair Witch theory I'm now fully taking credit for.

Another thing I figured out is that "Cloverfield" is an anagram which points to The Great One, which is an entire mythos written 70 years ago. It's both clever and old. Coincidence, I think not. There's one blatantly obvious suggestion I haven't seen anywhere yet, so it must be true... (cue awesome reveal)... The city-destroying monster is a giant dramatic prarie dog!

As someone who studied marketing in college, this is a masterclass and I can't believe it hadn't been done before. It's easily the most exciting film of 2008 for me. This, The Dark Knight and Haunted High School Musical. I'm super excited for those. Okay I love you, bye-bye.

Thursday, 12 July 2007

01-18-08/ Cloverfield/ Film With No Name

Watch this first:

This trailer was attatched to the Transformers screenings in America last week and this clip confused the hell out of people. It's from J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot and has no official name or basic plotline. All there is to know is that it's a giant monster movie.

I'm a huge fan of J.J. Abrams (and in case you're wondering, his full name is Jeffrey Jamiroquai Abrams) and his work (Lost, Mission Impossible III and Alias). I've watched this trailer many, many times and I've searched every good movie site and I still don't know what's going on. There are a lot of theories going around on this interweb thing and I've been going through everything to post the best of them tomorrow night. The theories and rumours that were posted in FAQs in and wikipedia were quickly deleted.

I've a few theories I came up with up on my own from watching the trailer and thinking about it over the last week, some better than others:

The obvious story: It's Godzilla. He's pissed. And he knows kung fu.

"It's alive, it's huge!": That line makes me think that something inanimate suddenly became alive and embiggened itself through witchcraft. At first I thought it was the Statue Of Liberty until her head came flying by. Maybe it is her and she's taken off her mask! Ever think about that? No! And that's why I think I'm great.

"It's A Lion, It's Huge!": A gigantic Aslan expoldes through the relatively tiny closet and suddenly wants to kill everything with his laser beam eyes and magnet feet.

The Blair Witch theory: You see the entire film through the camcorder and you're there to follow the people through what they do in this situation. You never get to see the monster so you won't be dissapointed if it is/ isn't Godzilla/ Cthulu/ Giant Slushie...

It's not a movie at all: It's all a promo for the next series of Lost. The series has already jumped into the real world and into the future so it would be cool to see the giant black cloud of death bring the smackdown onto New York. The connections are there. The writer, producer and director of Lost/ The figures 118 is used as a magic number in Lost and it would make sense to start the season 4 mini series around then. If not then it would be a once off film called "Smokey From Lost In The City: The Musical". It's a bit of a stretch (especially the last part) and will totally make the next 4 seasons of Lost even more pointless. That's unless they have a whole series of flashbacks based on Sun and Jin's past lives to piss everyone off.

There are a lot more ideas and theories so I'll post them tomorrow. To see the trailer in extra-fancy but slow-loading high-definition click here.

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Don't act like I never told ya

Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing (MixTape 2007)

01 Kanye West - Friday Morning, May 25th, 2007 (Intro) 2:17
02 Kanye West - Stronger (Snippet) 1:23
03 CRS (Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West & Pharrell) - Us Placers 3:53
04 GLC - I Ain’t Even On Yet 2:36
05 Kanye West - Can’t Tell Me Nothing 4:07
06 Common feat. Kanye West - Southside (Snippet) 2:22
07 Common - The Game 2:29
08 Kanye West - Porno (Interlude) 1:14
09 88 Keys feat. Kanye West & Malik Yusef - Stay Up (Snippet) 1:50
10 Talib Kweli feat. Kanye West - In The Mood 2:32
11 Bentley feat. Pimp C & Lil’ Wayne - C.O.L.O.U.R.S. 4:35
12 Kid Sister feat. Kanye West - Pro Nails 2:36
13 Kanye West - Young Folks 1:46
14 Kanye West - Interviews (Interlude) 3:31
15 Common - The People 3:24
16 Big Sean - Get’cha Some 2:57
17 Consequence - Don’t Forget Em 2:55
18 Sa-Ra - White! (On The Floor) 2:59
19 Ne-Yo feat. Kanye West - Because Of You (Remix) 1:35
20 T-Pain feat. Kanye West - Buy You A Drank (Remix) 2:01
21 Kanye West - Throw Some D’s (Interlude) 0:35
22 Kanye West - Throw Some D’s (Remix) 2:36
23 Tony Williams - Dreaming Of Your Love 2:51
24 Really Doe feat. Jennifer Hudson - Magnetic Power 1:46
25 PM - Hater Family

>Click here to download<

"The Louis Vuitton Don is planning to re-emerge on the scene just as the summer comes to a close with his third album offering, 'Graduation'. Though Ye's camp has been extremely tight lipped about who will be in attendance at the 'Graduation', the CD is rumoured to feature Coldplay's Chris Martin on the track 'Homecoming', as well as 'Late Registration' collaborator Jon Brion. The first single to be taken from the album will be the DJ Toomp-assisted track 'Can't Tell Me Nothing'.

"The producer/MC's third album will also include a song titled 'Stronger' which has been built around a sample of 'Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger' from the album 'Discovery' by Daft Punk."
The version on this mixtape is a two month old snippet. Click here to download the full five minute album version.

Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Nas said it best...

The standard in music days has dropped these days. Specifically in hip-hop or hippity hoppity as it's known in the hood. There are no new rappers to compare to 2Pac, Ice Cube, N.W.A, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Eric B. & Rakim, The Notorious B.I.G. Jay-Z, Eazy-E, Cypress Hill or Slick Rick. Most of them have now either lost it, sold out or died. I have yet to come across a great expert in rap lyrics in the same quality as this straight illin' flow, dawg.

"Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed, This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade, slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast, Other DJs say, "damn"
If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem, Yo - I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it."

A classic example of how today's "music" sucks large ass:
-Click here to find a fairly recent song called "Buy you a drank" by someone called T-Pain. The "T" probably stands for Tom. And yes, it really is spelt "drank".

-Click here to find a hilarious interpretation of that song by someone called called Chris.

-Click here to see a version of the song by someone called David Sides who makes it sound good.

I'm off to make trouble for the establishment.

Monday, 9 July 2007

It's moving, it's alive... It's ALIVE!

At Pictaps you can use a sketch program to draw your own little person, from a simple stick figure to an elaborate cartoon character, and then watch as they come alive and dance. If you don't have the patience to do your own figure (which is silly because it's as easy as pie), there's a whole catalogue of figures ready to boogie. It takes a minute to load and the music grates after exactly nine seconds but it's worth seeing. Also check out the creator's (Roxik) other flash game which is pretty cool from a flash animator's point of view.

Sunday, 8 July 2007


Yesterday was the Live Earth day. I found some links to download what I thought to be the best performances of the day. There are some acts like Foo Fighters I've yet to find but I'll update this at a later date. Some good performances mixed with some awful "comedic" material (I'm looking at you Chris Rock).

Kanye West in New York
Size: 18.9 MB
Lenght: 16:23 min
RAPIDSHARE/ Megaupload
That photo, by the way, is not part of his act. He jumped into the Police's Message In A Bottle featuring John Mayer with some fairly awful but enthusiastic improv rapping. You can see the youtube footage here.

Beastie Boys in England
Size: 15.1 MB
Lenght: 12:21 min
RAPIDSHARE/ Megaupload
Mike D is really letting himself go. Is it just me or is Money Mark's keyboard even plugged in? Why is he allowed on that stage?

Alicia Keys in New York
Size: 24,5 MB
Lenght: 20:20 min