Amy Winehouse is a great singer

Winehouse's performance at the European MTV VMA show this week was so bad, they could've just let this guy get on stage. At least he could hold a tune. You've gotta love Amy's moves though.

Here are the lyrics (or at least as much as I could make out):

Heeyee leftno tiiime
To rigoray
Care his-day aray
Ray is say oh sa baaayah

Heeeyehe AND MY layaha
Yeeah, my tee arjah
Care oh,
Go-ho my gaaaawd

Nooo yearwayar
WatchanoowoOWOOo
So brought a coooaat
So a-har we bwent through

Noow Iii teray
A trouble track (switch pose)
My entourage track
Yeah, I go baahacckkk to blaaah

We only say goodbye to worse
I died a hundwed times
You goooo BACK to her
And I-hayl goho back ta
(whisper) I go back ta... OHoaaho

Ihiy lohove your musk
Yes I neeheed no,
You lobolobolo
Ayand I-ye lo-ovewaha

Ahand I, I be ba go BAaaaCK,
I goes, I dee, barely hover,
Over, ooowwe
All the time

(Chorus)
We only say goodbye to wher
I died a hundwed times
You goooo BACK to her
And Ihayl goho back ta

We only say goodbye to words
I died a hunded times
You goooo BACK to her
And Ihayl goho back ta...


(with emotion) Blaahahacck
BlaaaahAcck
BlahahahaaAAAAcck
Blaayaahahaya
Blahahack
Blah (repeat)
Blaaaayyyyaaaeerwaaaay
Waaaaaaaay I-iiiiiii goo back ta
I go, I go back ta

(Chorus)
We only say goodbye to wher
I died a hundwed times
You goooo BACK to her
And I-hayl gooOOOooaaahaha I,

We only say goodbye to Wher?
I died a hundwed tarnes
you goooo BACK To her
And I-hayl go back to
Blaahayahaaha...

Thank you.

-Transmission ends-

The Boy With The Incredible Brain

Here's the story of a man who is known in the world of science as a savant. He is special in the sense that he has an amazing memory and can do long calculations without even thinking. He reads the math results in a landscape projected in his mind. In the following film, he is put to the test:

There are interviews with other savants, including Rain Man himself, Kim Peek. The footage of me and my outstanding achievements in the field of excellence was cut out. Too handsome, you see.

"Don't you know who I am?"

You tell 'em, Jerry. I found out recently that Seinfeld was actually planning on doing a once-off reunion special, but unfortunately, everyone was busy. Julia-Louis Dreyfus has her own show, Jerry is promoting the hell out of Bee Movie and 30 Rock (just by appearing in it), Jason Alexander is probably homeless and Michael Richards is busy being a racist (Paul Mooney was not impressed but at least Kramer is sorry). Click here for Jerry's own reasons on why it can't happen.

Did you know the final episode had over 75 million viewers? I think I read that somewhere... The 9th and final series of Seinfeld is out on DVD November 19th. Also out that day is a giant boxset of all 9 series in a Play.com exclusive Fridge boxset or a simple black boxset if you don't want to look like a clown.

Meet my new BFF

I had a few posts made over the last few days but I've been feeling like crap every evening after work so I never managed to get around to posting the finished product. Even though I wasn't working today, I still managed to get really sick from sleeping out. Either that or it's because of my irregular eating habits recently or the fact that my eyes have been twitching and I may need glasses. It might also be because of staring at a monitor or TV for so long.

I'm taking a short break until I'm better but rest assured, I'll be back.

The new Matrix: Wanted

The trailer below is a film based on Mark Millar's comic book miniseries Wanted directed by the man who made Night Watch and Day Watch, Timur Bekmambetov. You can buy the original graphic novel here from Amazon or you could alternatively try some slightly more illegal methods... If I was a naughty boy I'd be pointing you in the general direction of Mininova's Wanted: Chapter 1-6 (plus bonus dossier, oooh) torrent, but I don't want to get into trouble, even if Trent Reznor says it's cool to steal.

Here's the trailer for Wanted, out on April 4th 2008:

I Heart Kevin Smith

...but not in a big bear kind of way. I've been going through his movies lately starting my way with Clerks and working my way through to Clerks 2. Maybe more so than his films, I loved the Evening With Kevin Smith DVDs.

Some of my favourite scenes included where he discussed the time he was in line to write the first Superman movie after Christopher Reeve, his dispute with Tim Burton, his take on Passion Of The Chist and his tales of working with Prince.

One of the more surreal stories involved Kevin protesting against his own film, Dogma:



The actual footage from the news report eight years ago has finally been found and managed to get it's way onto YouTube. Amazing:



"What does it stand for?"
"I don't know, but I've been told not good."

The ugliest post ever featured on this blog

Maxim have recently released a list to mirror their Sexiest Women Alive poll (topped by Charlize Theron) for the Unsexiest Women Alive.

1. Sarah Jessica Parker- A stickperson that looks vaguely like an emu:
2. Sandra Oh- One of the best looking Asian men I've ever seen:
3. Amy Winehouse- Mrs. Potato Head:4. Madonna- Her arms give me nightmares:
5. Britney Spears- How did she turn from this to this in the space of just a few short marriages:

Liverpool Watch: Somebody lost their pay slip

Full story on BBC News.

Robert Goulet dies at the age of 73

... and what most people remember him by is the following SNL sketch by Will Ferrell:



A tribute to Robert Goulet can be found here on 'Dispatches from the Lower East Side'. A tribute to the man's music can be seen here on Youtube. Some may remember that he was the main baddie, Quentin Hapsberg , in Naked Gun 2:

This is Halloween

Tim Burton's 'The Nighmare Before Christmas' re-cut with Marilyn Manson's version of 'This Is Halloween' for the re-release of the film in Disney Digital 3-D and 2-Disc Special Edition Soundtrack:



How to survive a Zombie attack (via CommonCraft):



Behind the scenes of Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein:



It wouldn't be Halloween post without a Thriller video:



There's another general Halloween survival guide here on Empire and a gallery of 74 amazing movie themed Jack-O-Laterns here on /Film.

Top Top Gear Moments

Top Gear is, by far, one of the best shows on TV right now. Here are just two examples from last Sunday's show.

The Bugatti Veyron versus the Eruofighter Typhoon:


Jeremy Clarkson reviews small cars:


Sorry about the lack of updates to the site. I had them all made up everyday but just kept forgetting to post the finished product. To make up for it, here is one of the funniest news pieces I've ever seen:



More features like this can be found on the constantly brilliant satire site The Onion.

Liverpool Watch: Arsenal

Well, that was lucky. It could've been much worse. Then again, if Liverpool managed to keep their early lead, the Kop could currently be 3 points behind Arsenal.

Song Of The Week: The Band Of Horses edition (now with 100% more cowabunga)

Here's the brand new video and single from Band Of Horses called "Is There A Ghost" from their album "Cease To Begin". It's certainly a grower of a tune:



When searching for the video on YouTube I came across a similarly named band called Horse The Band. Here's a cover they did of the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles:



For some reason, someone uploaded another song of theirs ("Anti-Pizza") to footage from the TMNT movies. The video had the following description which I found hilarious:

A music video, a work of art, a retrospect, a documentary, and an epic adventure of a life time. SATAN!

I'm off to the moving pictures

I'll update this post later with a review of Ratatouille since I love these kind of movies. Pixar movies specifically, that is. Especially when they're directed by Brad Bird. Even though it's a Dreamworks production, Bee Movie seems promising enough too. Especially when they're viewed after alcohol consumption.

Here's a five minute clip from Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie: