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Friday, 13 July 2007
"Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true"...
It started off as a mysterious handheld camera trailer for a giant monster movie before a film called Transformers. Now it's become a full-on viral phenomenon, complete with frame-by-frame break down of the trailer, digital engineering deconstructions of the creature's roar and hints to be found in the three grainy photos on the official homepage. One thing I've personally noticed is if you look in the hair between the two women in the photo above, you can clearly see the Devil. Maybe it's just me. I see the Devil everywhere.
As with any Web phenomenon, scandals have already started to break. Two sites rumored to be clues were called out as fakes by Abrams himself. "For what it's worth, the only site of ours that people have even FOUND is the 1-18-08.com site," he told Aint It Cool News. Abrams adds, "But, obviously, if the movie doesn't kick some massive ASS, who gives a rat's about what's online?". I do, you insensitive bastard. I hate you!
Ethan Haas related sites were found to be set up only to sell some ugly T-shirts by some very quick ass-merchants. Crazy coincidence of the day (or is it?): "Ethan Haas" was a character on CBS's "The Class", which also starred Lizzy Caplan, one of the stars of what iMdb has lovingly dubbed "Untitled JJ Abrams Project."
Seeing as Sony own the licence to Godzilla until 2012, that pretty much rules the big lizard out. The main theory on... the grapevine... is that the main monster is this handsome devil called Cthulu. It's a cool idea but I don't know how it would work with a $30m budget. Unless they resort to my idea of seeing only what the party crowd sees and what kind of hilarious shenanigans they get up to (as I described in the last post). Someone wierdo called Gerald Webber posted on iMdb and aicn.com with his own story (not theory) that everything has already happened and this footage was later found and released as a documentary much like the Blair Witch theory I'm now fully taking credit for.
Another thing I figured out is that "Cloverfield" is an anagram which points to The Great One, which is an entire mythos written 70 years ago. It's both clever and old. Coincidence, I think not. There's one blatantly obvious suggestion I haven't seen anywhere yet, so it must be true... (cue awesome reveal)... The city-destroying monster is a giant dramatic prarie dog!
As someone who studied marketing in college, this is a masterclass and I can't believe it hadn't been done before. It's easily the most exciting film of 2008 for me. This, The Dark Knight and Haunted High School Musical. I'm super excited for those. Okay I love you, bye-bye.